I just saw a hot homeless man
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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