Just fell off a train. Bad.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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