Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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