every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
