Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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