I'm eating all of the evidence.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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