When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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