Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
