Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize