even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
