no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
