glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We don't watch enough power rangers
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
