So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
