We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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