Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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