We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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