We're like a lot better than the average bears
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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