sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
