he wants to bone in the snuggie
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize