You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
