his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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