She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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