So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Randomize
