you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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