my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
