Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
