i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
