I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
