all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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