Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
