Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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