Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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