med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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