Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
