is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
