I accidentally had phone sex last night
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
