you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize