So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
