WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
