you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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