I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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