Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm getting married
To pizza
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize