I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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