The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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