i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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