May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
