Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
