I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
