Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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