your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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