wrigley field is MILF paradise
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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