im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So much rum. So many feels.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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