What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
